Monday, January 31st

WEIGHT at 7:30 AM - 197 pounds.    (No change.)

9AM- 1/2 a cucumber (cut in slices) dipped in hummus
NOON- 2 stalks of celery with hummus, 6 snow peas, 2 sugar free Jello cups
4:20 PM - 1 string cheese & 1 cup of sugar free Jello

Now I'm leaving work at 6:30 to go eat supper. 

(Will post dinner in comments section.)

Sunday, January 30th

I had a few swigs of water to take my meds and ate a piece of string cheese around 9:30 this morning.    I drove around on my snowmachine, got stuck in deep snow and had to dig my machine out (mini workout), went to church, and then began typing some of my thoughts about life so I can quit having them bounce around randomly in my brain.   Now it's 5PM and I am hungry!   Time to eat.    I'll have to post in the comment section about what I eat this evening!     (Oh, and I'll try to weigh myself tomorrow morning!)

Saturday, Jan. 29

9AM - Lemonade to take my medicine, but in too much of a hurry to eat.
2PM- Gyro sandwich, fries with katsup, sweet tea (2 glasses), and a chocolate milkshake  (I ate WAY too much and had a stomachache for awhile.)
8PM- 2 bowls of hamburger stew (with potatoes and carrots), 2 buns, and a bowl of chocolate ice cream

**I did, however, exercise a bit.   At my friends' house that night, we played Dance, Dance Revolution and I danced 2 songs.   (Proud Mary is a butt-kicker, but TONS of fun!)   And earlier that afternoon, I chipped ice and shoveled snow from boardwalks for about an hour.     It wasn't a lot of exercise, but I was so glad I finally felt healthy enough to do it without getting completely out of breath or having it start a headache!  

It was a good day!

Friday, Jan. 28th

8 AM - Slim Fast
Too busy all day to eat
6PM- 8 snack size Rice Krispy treats
8:30 PM- 6 hot mozzerella cheese sticks with the yummy battering (NOT string cheese)
10PM- 2 Pomegranate Fruit bars

Thursday, January 27th

8:00 AM- Slim Fast
9:00 AM- pear
1:30 PM- Turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy, stuffing & gravy, cranberry sauce, apple sauce, & a kiwi
6:00 PM - several Salt & Lime Tostitos chips
7:00 PM - fortune cookie

Wednesday, January 26th

 8 AM - Slim Fast
 2 PM- Chips & salsa
10 PM- celery sticks with peanut butter and dried cranberries (still at work)

SNACKS during the day:   2 muffins (Banana peanut butter chocolate chip muffins)

Tuesday, Jan. 25th

I've been SO busy with work, so I haven't been posting regularly.  I've been trying to write down everything I eat, but I've fallen so far behind....   

I know I had something to take medicine with in the morning, but I'm not sure what....probably a glass of Slim Fast??

 Work was crazy, so I had no morning snack and no real lunch break, but finally around 2:00 PM, I ate a bowl of microwavable Thai food (Pad Thai, I think).   It was very, very filling!

5PM- snack - bag of Cinnamon Apple Chips

I can't find a note for what I ate that evening.

Monday, Jan. 24th

9:00 AM- Chicken & Cheese Enchilada
noon - bag of Cinnamon Apple Chips
9:00 PM- 2 chicken & cheese enciladas and one Pomegranate Fruit Bar (popsicle)

Sunday, January 23rd

  This morning I woke with pressue in my head behind my eyes and a lot of drainage which was hard to shallow (thick).

9:00 AM- Slim Fast & salad w/Italian dressing
11:30- mug of apple cider
12:00- lots of pasta w/ tomato and meat & finished the other 1/3 of the pint of Cherry Garcia
6:30 PM- Cholcolate candy & 2 handfuls of butter popcorn (at school)
9:00 PM- Two chicken & cheese enchiladas, 4 Roma tomatoes with 3 slices of Swiss cheese melted on top of those tomato slices....YUMMY!)
Between 9-11 I watched a movie and opened another pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia.  I like to eat the melted parts along the sides.   I was engrossed in the movie and didn't pay attention to my eating until I looked down near the end of the movie and saw that I ate nearly the whole thing.   Since it was so close, I just finished it off. 

Saturday, Jan. 22

 7:30 AM- Slim Fast
11:30 AM- Swiss cheese & fortune cookie

(Shuttled kids and worked all afternoon.)

1:00 PM- chichen & cheese enchilada & 2 Gogurts

8:00 PM or so - Had same friend over again....He brought me food:  sesame chicken w/fried rice.   Needless to say I pigged out again, but I didn't eat it ALL.     Too bad I added 2/3 or my pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream to completely blow away my self-control! 

NOTE:  I went to bed at 9:30 because of my huge headache, but I still couldn't sleep until around midnight.

Friday, Jan. 21st

I wrote down what I ate Friday morning and lunch, but currently can't find it.   When/If I find it, I'll post it in the comments section or figure out how to edit this post.   :)

 Friday, I had a friend over to watch a movie and he kept encouraging me to eat.
 6:30 PM- bowl of instant oatmeal
 8:30 PM- 3 bowls of pasta (2 types: like macaroni w/cheese and lasagna), hot chocolate, & a glass of Crystal Light

Thursday, Jan. 20th

 7:30 AM- Slim Fast & a kiwi
 4:00 PM- 5 celery sticks (plain) and vanilla yogurt
 6:00 PM - 1/3 of a big bag of beef jerky
11:00 PM- Kit Kat candy bar and a few bite sized chocolate candies also

Tuesday, Jan. 18th

 7:30 AM - Slim Fast & fortune cookie (to take meds)
11:00 AM- banana, a few cheese nips, and an all natural fruit strip (almost like a Fruit Roll-Up)
 1:00 PM - small spinach salad with Italian dressing, cottage cheese, and yogurt with red berries
 6:00 PM - caribou soup (with rice & meat) and a big portion of akutaq (made with salmonberries)
10:00 PM- hot chocolate (1 mug)

Wednesday, January 19th

8:00 AM- Slim Fast
9:30 AM- banana
1:00 PM- spinach salad w/Italian dressing, peanut butter and jelly sandwich on wheat bread, vanilla yogurt w/blackberries added in
5:00 PM- one peanut butter cookie bar
7:30 PM- 6 celery sticks (I can't believe I ate them plain!   I was going to add PB and cranberries, but I  took a bite of one and it was the best celery I've ever tasted.   I've never liked them enough to have them plain!  Cool.)
9:00- Two slices of Swiss cheese and a cup of hot chocolate

9:00 to 10:15- I read for a bit and then turned off the lights and went to sleep. 
 (I woke up on my own the next morning around 5:30 and felt great!  WOW!)

*No exercise yet.
*Still need to drink more fluids  (I had about a quart of Crystal Light throughout the day.)

Random Eating

Breakfast- Slim Fast
Morning Snack- banana & 4 crackers w/cheese snack
Lunch- (Potluck) small bowl of salmon chowder, 2 spring rolls, a few chips with salsa and some with cheese dip,  a few veggies w/ranch dip (broccoli, grape tomatoes, cauliflower), cherry cobbler (2 pieces), chocolate pudding.  *FULL!
Afternoon grazing- 4 crackers w/cheese snack, 3/4 of a Heath candy bar
Dinner- chips & salsa

It's now 8PM and I'm tempted to snack as I'm working at my desk.   This is my weakness....evenings and when working or watching movies.    I resolve right now not to eat anything more tonight.  

HYDRATION - I've got a 2 qt. container of Crystal Light to drink and I've only had one 20 oz. bottle of water and one 20 oz. bottle of Crystal Light to drink all day!   I need to work on this!

 (No exercise.  I need to get my rear in gear!)

Sunday, January 16th

Breakfast- handful of Doritos (so I could take medicine and rush out the door)
Lunch- 2PM- a few pieces of beef jerky and a packet of cinnamon & spice oatmeal
Dinner-  8PM- 3 bowls of Taco Salad  (I should have stopped after 2 bowls.)
Snack- 11PM- 3 or 4 cookies dunked in milk


(Got headache and a bit dizzy around 3:30.   When making salsa and turning my little food chopper, I was SUPER exhausted.  Almost broke a sweat, started shaking...  Ahhh!!   I just want my body to be back to normal.   I figure I'm good until mid-afternoon and then I'm spent.  Still......"I, I WILL SURVIVE.....")  

Saturday, Jan. 15- Almost a Wasted Day...

Woke up at 6:30 and laid in bed just thinking about one thing, then another thing....Got frustrated & angry about an issue, cried a bit, and then got my rear out of bed!   Wandered aimlessly for a few minutes until deciding to sew up the holes in the inside liner of my snowpants.  (It's been getting worse over the years.)  So, I popped in a movie that I've had for a month and have been needing to return anyway.   I was still feeling angry and sorry for myself, so I DID IT..... I returned to the old me, the old destructive pattern....I ate junk!    I was being a cranky, whiny butt and frankly didn't care about a stinkin' diet plan.  "I blew it last night, so who cares???   Let's just blow it for another day!!!!"

I ate about 8 Oreo-type cookies dunked in milk.   Then I snacked on some Doritos (probably would've been as many as are in one of those GrabBags).  Not a healthy breakfast!   Ha!

(WOW!!!  THIS IS EXACTLY THE PATTERN THAT LED ME DOWN THIS PATH OF SLOW SELF-DESTRUCTION.  IT IS THIS PRECISE WAY OF THINKING - FEELING SAD AND DEFEATED- THAT MUST GO!!!!  Of course, I can say this now because it's a day later, but while I'm in the pits, it's hard to talk myself out of it.  I need to have something to do each day as soon as I get up, so I don't lay in bed and just think...."The idle mind is the Devil's playground."  Perhaps I now see some truth in that old saying.)  

Around 2PM, I had a gyro sandwich (pita bread with lamb and cucumber ranch-like dressing with a few tomatoes for garnish) and french fries, water to drink, and a chocolate milk shake -not because I needed that, but because it was what my normal order at that restaurant was and I felt like having it.   No self-discipline even attempted. 

A bit later in the afternoon, I got a headache....one of those normal sinus pressure ones.   Then around 5:30 I started feeling dizzy so I laid down.   I talked to my uncle on the phone for over an hour (which was great because I felt like hours of my life were just going to be wasted since I was to dizzy to really do anything...including watching TV or reading a book.  Grrrr....)   Then I got tired around 7PM and told some friends I'd take a little nap, but probably hang out with them later!   HA!    I was completely OUT until 6:30 the next morning!    The good thing there is that I ate no dinner!!!!  :)

An odd day, but I sewed my snowpants, can return a movie and get a new one in the mail, and I helped a friend!!!   Not nearly as productive as I imagined my Saturday would be, but we can't predict headaches.    I think I'm just going to have to allow for more rest time until I kick this sinus infection.  

Odd Sleeping Schedule

So, my body may finally be readjusting to the change in time zones, but it's sure odd right now.   I was VERY tired last night around 8:30, so I popped in a movie and laid on the couch, thinking I'd let myself fall asleep.  The movie was too good.    (SALT)  I did, however, promptly fall asleep once it was over around 10PM.   (That's early for me.)  

I woke up around 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally got up and did some things around the house.   I thought I was up for the entire day, so around 3:30AM I drank Slim Fast and took Sudafed since I was starting to feel dizzy again.   Around 4AM, I went back to sleep. (It took me awhile to get to sleep and I had a crazy dizzy spell while laying in bed.  Crazy.   I'll be SUPER thankful when I have a day where I feel completely healthy again!   People, don't take it for granted!!!!!  THIS is another reason I need to do this blog and lose weight....so I can be healthy for the long haul!)


Ate 2 bananas before lunch. (Can't remember when.)
Ate 2 boiled eggs and a few pieces of beef jerky around 10AM.  
Ate 1/2 a container of cottage cheese and had a fourth of a Health bar around 12:45PM.

Headache started up again around 4PM.  Grr.   Took Sudafed and waiting for it to kick in.  Feeling a bit dizzy now (5PM), but at least during the workday I felt pretty good.

Plan to go home and fix homemade salsa (tomatoes, onions, cilantro, jalapenos, garlic salt, lime or lemon juice) and taco salad (crushed Doritos, ground beef with taco seasoning, iceburg lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, salsa, & French dressing).   Might watch a movie or balance my checkbook - will depend on my mood when that time arrives.    For now, I've got to stay late at work and get some things finished.    :)
 

January 13th

8AM- Slim Fast & Sudafed
Not hungry all morning.
Munched on a few pieces of candy (Tootsie Roll, Toosie Pop, gum, maybe two other pieces of candy)

Went to another clinic. Got a different antibiotic for my sinus infection.   (Dizzy all day today.)

7:30 PM- 2 bowls of stir fry (brown rice, broccoli, cauliflower, chicken, and soy sauce)-Friends' house
8:30 PM- small bowl of cottage cheese, a Gogurt, and Viatmin Water (to take meds)

Not bad.   Surprised that I wasn't hungry most of the day.  *Need to drink more water!  **Need to exercise, but will be cautious now due to the antibiotic I'm taking...can cause tendons to rupture. 

WORK DAY

I woke up early again - at 5:30 AM.   That's crazy!   I'm sure it'll wear off soon!   I must admit it was nice to NOT feel rushed.   I awoke with an awful headache, though.   I wanted to exercise (in my heart), but it hurt to simply open my eyes even in the dark room.   After laying there willing myself to get up, I finally tried to have a devotion (blurry vision, like when my eyes are tired after a long day) and then did my saline nasal wash.   Feel the burn....love the burn!   Miserable.  It DID provide relief for about an hour, though!   I've been dizzy all day, but Sudafed in the morning and early afternoon has added relief to the headaches also!  So, with all that, I walked about 1/2 a mile, but not fast, so it was minimal exercise.

As far as food goes:

Breakfast:  bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal
Late morning snack:  a few bites of beef jerky and a 2 oz. bag of trail mix (minus the raisins)
Lunch:  Peanut butter and jelly on a bagel, a can of mandarin oranges, a handful of tortilla chips with spinach dip, and a handful of plain M&Ms.

* Only drank one 20 oz bottle of water today.   Need to do better on this!

Dinner will be at a friend's home tonight and it'll be late.  (Can I help it that I'm a social butterfly? Ha!)

All in all, not a bad day!  

Two Missing Days

So, January 9 & 10 are pretty much unaccounted for.   I can promise that I pigged out....more than any of the previous days.   The 9th was the last day of vacation and the 10th was a LONG day of travel!   Today, January 11th, I'm exhausted.   Switching time zones can be a chore.    However, I already exercised for 15 minutes with my Wii Fit program.   I did mainly aerobics, but a few balance games.     Then I went to the clinic for this sinus infection that is an unwanted, but very loyal, companion to me!

Breakfast:   8oz Skim Fast
Lunch:   beef jerky (a good portion) and 4 oz Mountain Trail Mix w/o the raisins (peanuts, almonds, cashews, and M&Ms) washed down with a Powerade

Dinner may not be very healthy as I may go to people's homes and be socially expected to eat.   I'll play that by ear.

This is Why I'm Fat

I love how a day can start off so well and then go so wrong!  Ha!   Again, I'm so happy that I could care less about my poor eating habits, but I must be honest and write down everything I ate for accountability.    I can let myself off the hook for now, but must also recognize that THIS is why I'm fat!

Breakfast- none
Lunch- salad (mixed greens, red peppers, cauliflower, Italian dressing), veggie burger w/cheese & thin bun and Italian dressing.  A big slice of cake and 2 scoops of ice cream.  
Snacking- Peanut brittle!!!!
Dinner- Veggie casserole (tomatoes, milk, eggs, green beans, cheese, zucchini, and some other stuff)  YUMMY!    More cake and ice cream....HAD to finish it!    
Snacking after 9PM- more peanut brittle.

The Plan

For those that may think by now, day 7, that I'm just full of hot air, I want you to know I really am hatching a plan in the back of my mind.    Right now I'm still on vacation, so establishing a routine is not going to happen until I get back home in a few more days.    Then I've got Slim Fast and several exercise DVDs just quietly calling my name!!!    THEN I'll try to get measurements and start recording and tracking my weight.     Until then, I will try to not pig out and make decent to smart choices.....

Bad Eating, but Carefree Feeling

So I slept in and skipped breakfast.   Lunch was looking pretty good - salad, veggie burger with veggie cheese, and water.   Then we added Activia yogurt.  No problem.  Then....that cake was still sitting on the counter.   Yes, it's the one we all cut into last night and the same one that my lovely friends got as a gift at Christmas and carefully wrapped in Saran Wrap and put in the freezer until I arrived.   Did I feel like having a piece of cake?  "No, I'll wait until dinner."   But then, the husband decided to have a piece.   With a twinkle in her eye, the wife decided to have a small piece also.   There wasn't really any pressure one way or the other for me, but I didn't need it.   I was just feeling so darn carefree that I just said, "Oh, give me a piece!"   Then I added 2 scoops of ice cream, because what is cake without it's sidekick?    I chuckled in my mind, thankful that I'd tried their exercise bike for a mere 5 minutes that morning.   :)  

  Anyway, we walked a bit in a mall and had tea and a piece of pumpkin bread that afternoon.   In the evening I ate a burrito-in-a-bowl....kind-of a mexican salad:  rice, black beans, tomatoes, sour cream, hot sauce, lettuce, cheese, and chicken.   YUMMY!    Then I had more cake and ice cream!   HA!  

  Bad day for my eating, perhaps, but a great day for my spirit!     We just talked and laughed and cried and prayed....  My friends bless me SO much!    I'm so glad they've taken time out of their lives just to be with me!

Travel Day (Jan.6)

Slept really well in a comfy bed, took an amazing HOT shower, got packed up, and went to breakfast at IHOP with my friend!   I had 3 strips of bacon, 2 fried eggs, and 2 crepes with yogurt, granola, and fruit on them!  YUMMY!   I had water this morning and now I'm drinking a Vitamin Water and waiting for my plane!   So far so good.

SHAME

So I stayed up all night to do work and wanted to snack around 4AM, but resisted.   (GOOD.)   I sipped on my Raspberry tea all night and that was it.    However, this morning, I wasn't hungry, but had to take food with my medicine AND I happened to be driving by a McDonald's (Everyone can sigh or gasp here!) and I decided to drive-thru and order my old favorite:  QuarterPounder meal deal.    I was telling myself the entire time that it was stupid to sabatoge myself on the very day that I told so many of my friends about my weight loss attempt.    I mean, REALLY!!!   Still, a little voice in my head said I should be able to indulge.   It's not like I'm going to have access to fast food by this time next week.   So....I did it.  I ordered the meal deal and decided to be slightly healthy and get a Powerade to drink.  Then in the next millisecond, I decided to have a "snack size" Oreo McFlurry.   Ha!  Was I crazy?     I have to laugh at myself;  the inner war and the justifications that come so easily.    For years I've just not thought about my patterns.   Now I have to laugh!   So, I ate ALL of those greasy fries on the drive home.  (They weren't even great, but that familiar taste and the salt....yum.    Gross.   Just writing this I'm conjuring up a picture of an uber fat gal enjoying her food just a bit too much!)   I ate the burger, the ice cream (my weakness) and had the Powerade. 

     Then I did nothing except catnap, play on the computer, and try to make arrangements to fly to another state tomorrow and visit more friends!   Dinner was a few chicken tenders and a few bites of potatoes.    I'm stuffed.    (Must still be from the lunch!  Ha!)    This doesn't mean that if my friend that comes to pick me up this evening wants to go out to eat together I won't eat again.   I'm sure I'll conjure up some reason like not wanting her to feel awkward or that I won't get to go out to eat for another 6 months or some other fitting-for-that-moment reason to justify whatever I feel like doing then.    (Are you gathering that it's a self-control issue?   I need to curtail my spending also.    DISCIPLINE is what I need!)

     Well, now that I've sufficiently exposed myself and my weaknesses enough for one day, I hope you can feel free to join this journey alongside me.   Feel free to comment, to laugh, to cry, to shout, to roll your eyes, etc, etc, but hold on because this rollercoaster is just getting going!!!     Hee!  Hee!    I can't stop now.....and THAT is GOOD!

Days 3 & 4

Monday (shopping day and out with friends)
Breakfast- 3 glazed Krispy Kreme donuts (10am w/prednisone & augmentin)
Lunch- skipped bc shopping
Dinner- Chick-Fil-A #4 combo (spicy chicken sandwich, potato fries, & lemonade)
Dinner again at friends' house (2 hrs later) - 2 tacos a piece of pie (Oreo crust, CoolWhip/Hershey's mix) and TONS of ice water!!!

Tuesday (errands & dentist)
Breakfast- skipped
Lunch- Chick-Fil-A #4 again (spicy chicken sandwich, potato fries, lemonade) WITH a peppermint shake      (Urgh....I was overstuffed and physically felt awful for awhile after that.   NOT COOL.)
Dinner- Tomato basil soup (small portion) with cheese bread, McDonald's Fruit & Maple Oatmeal & sweet tea

No exercise yet.  So much else to do.   Hoping when I get to my own house, I'll start in on a good routine.

Day Two

Staying at a home preparing to be sold, so no fridge, no beds...just sleeping bags on floors.    Breakfast was 2 glazed Krispy Kreme donuts.   Church.  Lunch with friends at Texas Roadhouse (2 rolls with honey butter, BBQ chicken, and green beans.   Drank water with lemon.  THAT was a good choice.)     Went to friend's house, talked & watched TV.  Drank 2 glasses of sweet tea and had a bowl of caramel popcorn and then the loaded sweet potato (with marshmallows and brown sugar) for an afternoon snack.   Finally ended the day at another house to play a Kinect dancing game (only 2 small portions of songs) and play game- Buzz Word.   Ate dinner at 8PM - spaghetti and salad - kids' portion.   Capri Sun and water to drink.   Then had a piece of cheddar cheese and drinking a chocolate milk that I picked up at the gas station on the way home.    Night.

First Day of the New Year

I'm on vacation and traveling.   Woke up, ate a bowl of Cinnamon Crunch cereal, took Augmentin and Prednisone for my sinus infection, rode 5 hours in a car, ate french fries and a Buffalo grilled chicken pita wrap with bacon and cheese and had a large lemonade.  Went out with a friend for dinner and had cheese and chocolate fondu with a flavored tea.    Doesn't sound like a diet, but at least I didn't snack between meals!